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When I knew it!!!

December 17, 2012 3 comments

                                            The Most expected and the Most feared

It was almost 4AM. My wife woke me up, full of blushing smile; I could literally count her teeth. My mind started to race, expecting the most expected news. She uttered “The result is positive”.

I didn’t react. Defiantly I was happy, but felt my body starting to sweat internally. Slowly I woke up hugged her and conveyed my happiness. But soon started to scold her “I told you not to wake up at this time, you had only 3 hours of sleep for last 2 days. Are you mad?”. She replied “Sorry I have deadline, please allow me only today”.

Soon I returned back to bed, but an unknown feeling started to occupy my mind. Slowly I tried to pull my unsettled mind and started to analyse my behavior. Then I realized it’s the “FEAR”.

Fear of responsibility. Though people say I am relatively a responsible guy, have never cared much about “Being Responsible or Caring”. Even didn’t analyse a lot when deciding on marriage nor planning for child. But when the day actually came, my mind started to think of lots of stuff on same time; Days when I gave tough times to my dad; how my friends and my brother think before dealing with their children; what my cousins say to their parents on their upbringing; and lot more.

It’s the FEAR of failing my FATHER role. Can I be a good father caring about child’s wellness when I dont care of taking care of myself? Can I provide all that I am supposed to provide my child? Do I know to deal with child? Am I ready to running to hospitals where I hate going to?

Somehow my mind started thinking of a “Abhiyum Naanum” and then its climax dialog “With every child a father is also born. Children grow but many fathers fail to grow with them”. My friend Suresh used to say the greatness of this movie, but have failed to notice it. But now……

It was almost 5AM when I got up from bed, to disturb my wifes work and my share my thoughts (Of course, with apologies).

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Categories: My View, Witnessed Tags:

Policeman’s point of view

January 18, 2011 1 comment

This event dates back a three-four years.  I was standing in chennai railway station’s unreserved ticket counter.   It was a festive season and the queues were quite big and there were approximately 10 people between me and the booking clerk.  An animated guy came down to me with money rolled into a roll, requesting,  “Please Sir, Please get me a ticket to Visakapatinam.  The train starts in next 10 mins, please…”.  I stood thinking for a moment, and stretched my hand, to receive the money.

A policeman appeared from nowhere shouting at the guy, “Aren’t these guys human?  Or doesn’t they have work?”.  The guy took back the money and left the place.  The policeman came to me with harsh words, “Are not you an educated person?  Can’t you find these people are frauds?  These guys would give some 100 rupees and then he will claim that he gave 500 rupees.  This will come to me for panchayat.  I don’t understand what you guys learn at school.”

Was that Policeman correct?  Or am I so ignorant?  Or was the guy genuine.  I will never knew.

Categories: Witnessed

Proposal Witnessed

On a sunny evening, my friend and myself were traveling from my hometown to work town.  As our train ticket was not confirmed; we had to hop multiple buses on our journey.  During one of our hops, a guy and a girl on a platform stole our attention.

They were in their early twenties, should be singles and were carrying huge luggage.  The guy was talking to the girl, trying to hide his emotions to the outside world, but not to the girl.  The girl made a partial angry, partial passive face and was looking away from the guy.  After few minutes she broke her silence with her one-liners.  From her expression we could easily say those were negative words.

The guy posed to be disappointed, moved few steps back with his luggage.  Though the girl turned down the guy, she didn’t leave the place.  The next gesture clearly showed, it was a high drama.  As if she was answering a cellphone call, she casually started moving towards him.  The guy too pulled coke from her bag, drank and pushed it in the bag without any sign of anger.

After the call, the girl started to explain her points to the guy.  And now, it was the guy’s time to show passive face, feeding his sadism.  Gradually he got into one-liner answering mode and girl showed convinced face.  Suddenly the conversation changed to happy note; the guy as if picking the luggage, bent down and kissed the girls forehead (she was shorter than him).  Kissing on lips in public is still an offense in India. The girl responded with huge smile.  Gaining confidence, the guys kissed her forehead again with a partial hug.

They both walked hand in hand past us.  We (my friend and me) have witnessed a highly dramatic short film with no audio, enough for us to discuss a next hour of our journey.

Categories: Witnessed