Home > My View, Witnessed > When I knew it!!!

When I knew it!!!

                                            The Most expected and the Most feared

It was almost 4AM. My wife woke me up, full of blushing smile; I could literally count her teeth. My mind started to race, expecting the most expected news. She uttered “The result is positive”.

I didn’t react. Defiantly I was happy, but felt my body starting to sweat internally. Slowly I woke up hugged her and conveyed my happiness. But soon started to scold her “I told you not to wake up at this time, you had only 3 hours of sleep for last 2 days. Are you mad?”. She replied “Sorry I have deadline, please allow me only today”.

Soon I returned back to bed, but an unknown feeling started to occupy my mind. Slowly I tried to pull my unsettled mind and started to analyse my behavior. Then I realized it’s the “FEAR”.

Fear of responsibility. Though people say I am relatively a responsible guy, have never cared much about “Being Responsible or Caring”. Even didn’t analyse a lot when deciding on marriage nor planning for child. But when the day actually came, my mind started to think of lots of stuff on same time; Days when I gave tough times to my dad; how my friends and my brother think before dealing with their children; what my cousins say to their parents on their upbringing; and lot more.

It’s the FEAR of failing my FATHER role. Can I be a good father caring about child’s wellness when I dont care of taking care of myself? Can I provide all that I am supposed to provide my child? Do I know to deal with child? Am I ready to running to hospitals where I hate going to?

Somehow my mind started thinking of a “Abhiyum Naanum” and then its climax dialog “With every child a father is also born. Children grow but many fathers fail to grow with them”. My friend Suresh used to say the greatness of this movie, but have failed to notice it. But now……

It was almost 5AM when I got up from bed, to disturb my wifes work and my share my thoughts (Of course, with apologies).

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  1. mithran
    December 17, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    மச்சி நல்லா இருக்கு.
    முடிஞ்ச வரைக்கும் தமிழ் எழுத முயற்சி பண்ணு.

  2. Atira jayakrishnan
    December 19, 2012 at 7:07 am

    Ha ha… Nice… These anxieties are common… Let it come as it has to… As of now just enjoy the moment and think abt the cute baby model u will get for shoots… 😉

  3. December 19, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    Good news.. Congrats Arun..

    On Mon, Dec 17, 2012 at 8:19 AM, Lazy Blogger

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